all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
