we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
