Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize