Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did I show you my penis last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
