As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
