You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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