watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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