i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
