she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
