How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
