im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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