the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
