Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
