i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
