Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
