Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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