Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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