Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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