If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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