Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its about making memories worth repressing
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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