you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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