I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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