I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
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