I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
