Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
