Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
