just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
