I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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