Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
