Screwed.edu
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
how drunk are you?
Several
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize