i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
