i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
