I need help removing her.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
