May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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