Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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