i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
