just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
