yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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