Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Text me some of your sweat
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