I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
