Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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