Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
