when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
