I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
