I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
