It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize