Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
