I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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