i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
