I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
