I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
