wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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