is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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