it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
