in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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