dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
