girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
