I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize