he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
