then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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