no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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