OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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