we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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