my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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