you would pick up someone in the library
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
