I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
