Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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