help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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